Competitive Parenting

I once met a 5 month old who could run the 100 yard dash in 10 seconds. I'm not even exaggerating.

A coworker and friend showed me an article about early childhood learning...I didn't read it, but she summarized it for me: from Day 1, all we do is test, test, test these kids, and then compare them to their peers. Medical tests. Tests to determine what they know, at only a few months old. G had a "test" when he switched rooms at daycare, to see if he could hang with the older kids. I'm sure some of these are necessary, but I KNOW I could get a few teachers to back me up on this: when is it enough?!

What kind of example are we showing? How does this impact these minds we are molding and cultivating? I don't know, but it can't be all good.

I do know that it breeds a creature that I have come to know and hate: The Competitive Parent. I'm part of a local, online mommy group, a safe place for moms to ask questions or vent about ANYTHING. Great concept, right? Most of the time it works, but other times it's a figurative (and sometimes, literal) dick-measuring contest. EVERYONE has the smartest, biggest, most advanced child, and oh WILL you know about it.

Oh, and there are rules you have to follow, at the risk of being Publicly Mom Shamed. Carseat safety. Safe sleep. Feeding guidelines. Breastmilk storage rules. Are these important? Absolutely. But,  if you innocently ask a question about one of these topics and reveal how ultimately clueless you are as a parent, some harpy swoops down and makes you feel like a complete moron for Not Knowing Something So Important In The First Place....OMG YOU CANNOT GIVE YOUR KID A FUCKING HOTDOG OR HE WILL DIE

There are organic clothes, did you know that? What the fuck? Do you even know the actual definition of organic, and how producers actually use it? Another post, another day.

Stop this. Shame on you. Who cares? Your kid is their own person, and will develop at their own rate. If you have a question, ask a fellow parent whom you trust, or your pediatrician. They will guide you. God forbid your kid is average, or only slightly above average. There's all this pressure to feed your kid the right shit, send them to the right schools, dress them the right way, and it makes me crazy. You have to make the choices that are best for you and your child. Remember, you were clueless once, and 99% of all parents are truly doing the best they can with what they have. It may not be the decision that you would make, but it's one that they have made for their family, more than likely with a ton of thought and consideration. Respect that.

My kid fucking loves hot dogs. Sue me.